troubled days..

this is just not what i wanted.. too much of work.. lot of pressure.. health is also not that great.. more then anything problems just striking from all corners.. life was never so disturbing.. my heart and mind are just going mad.. relationships are always tough and i feel the pressure.. i feel like a cornered chicken just waiting to be cut and placed in the stove.. the fear of failure is catching on me.. the fear of losing someone close is even more troubling.. i am in a fix.. my body senses something different.. my heart tells something else.. my brains are unable to process too many things anymore.. i feel like i am going down.. well i was never so disturbed in life.. days are going without too much purpose and i still feel i am doing something i am not meant for.. feels like luck has eluded me and god is somewhere silently sitting laughing at me.. is this really my fault??? too many questions are unanswered.. but still life goes and days pass.. is this all worth the emotions only time can give me an answer..